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~x-sodapop

teh calvin
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About Me Member Antagonist x-sodapop15/Male/United States Recent Activity Deviant for 2 Years
Needs Premium Membership Statistics 19 Deviations
576 Comments
8,499 Pageviews

drumless beat

Sat Nov 14, 2009, 11:27 AM
  • Mood: Isolated
  • Watching: blue crush
  • Drinking: diet coke

days repeat
over and over
exhaustion.
pause, return, recoil.
tomorrow will be new
but bitterly similar
hate hate hate
not happy, not sad,
but transitioning
to someone thats been hiding.




hell i dont know what the fuck that was.
i want to get back into boarding
(i used to be a skateboarder)
but winter is here again.
so instead im gonna workout,
and get to a good point and be healthy.

every day has been bitterly the same since school began
ive seen levi twice since august,
and that relationship couldnt be better.
nine months on sunday (tomorrow)

the artistic flow is leaving me,
but i am taking a colored pencil art class,
and working on a few projects there.
its calming and nice on thursday evenings
with a few middle aged people to give me advice on it.
and its nice cause they dont know that im trans
its nice to have some people in my life who have no clue.

had a heart to heart with mom a few days ago
about how people treat me at school; cause it aint too nice
and my parents feel really sorry,
but they told me it was coming if i chose to transition
and that they dont know what to do or how to help
i hope they call the gender therapist soon; cause i need it
bad.

its been really hard for me to find happiness
and i still havent found it.
i dont enjoy being melancholy all the time,
but theres no where else to turn
i cant find happiness in my life
because its not evident
and i truthfully know that i wont be happy,
until theres a physical change

i just wish that i didnt have to waste life
i wish i could do things that everyone else does
and not be barred from life


have fun with that dose of depression



--calvin

3 Comments | Previous Journal Entries

deviantID

Two faced.
Enjoys cheeseburgers.
Fan of Cowboys.
Never leaves the house without Pants.

Devious Info

  • Current Residence: New Hampshire
  • Favourite movie: The Invisible, Gangs of New York, Across the Universe, Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist
  • Favourite band or musician: Carter Hulsey, A Change of Pace, Death Cab For Cutie, Panic at the Disco, Bright Eyes, Nickel Creek
  • Favourite poet or writer: S.E Hinton
  • Favourite gaming platform: Nintendo 64

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Comments


:iconhelloxdarling234:
~helloxdarling234 Nov 5, 2009, 12:01:31 PM
Thank you for the favorite. : ) <3

--
"You're not so picture perfect."
:iconipzircon:
~iPZircon Sep 2, 2009, 9:50:22 PM
thanks for the fave! ^^ :3 :hug:

--
what?
:iconlollyredantsquirrel:
~Lollyredantsquirrel Aug 24, 2009, 6:58:00 AM
Thank you for the favorite. :3333333

--
Life is the art of drawing without and eraser.
:iconthrillerxlizard:
~ThrillerxLizard Aug 18, 2009, 2:13:51 PM
Hey Calvin. I remember you writing in my hiatus journey...well Im back now. =] Hope all is ok.

--
Make a scene, make a scream like your losing your mind♫

{Nikon D90 Photos}-{Here}
:iconpouikee:
*pouikee Aug 9, 2009, 10:27:12 AM
thanks for adding me~ ♥
:iconlollyredantsquirrel:
~Lollyredantsquirrel Aug 4, 2009, 2:56:52 PM
Thank you for the favorite. :33

--
Life is the art of drawing without and eraser.
:icongaiety:
~gaiety Jul 3, 2009, 6:07:14 PM
gaww.

shpanx you for the favorite and watch~
8D

--
What would you do if I sang out of tune?
:iconx-sodapop:
~x-sodapop Jul 4, 2009, 3:00:27 AM
zomg.
youre very welcome
(:
:icongaiety:
~gaiety Jul 4, 2009, 8:01:00 AM
:D!

--
What would you do if I sang out of tune?
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